Renewal - The Heritage of the Buddha ...

When there is no past, when there is no future, only then is there peace. Future means aspirations, achievement, goal, ambition, desire. You cannot be here now, you are always rushing for something, somewhere else. One has to be utterly present to the present, then there is peace.

And out of that is renewal of life, because life knows only one time, and that is the present.

The past is death; the future is just a projection of the dead past. What can you think about the future? You think in terms of the past, that's what you know, and you project it--of course in a better way. It is more beautiful, decorated; all the pains have been dropped and only the pleasures have been chosen, but it is the past.

The past is not, the future is not, only the present is. To be in the present is to be alive, optimum--and that is renewal.

Just one day before Gautam Buddha left his palace to seek the truth, a child had been born to his wife. It is such a human story, so beautiful...

Before leaving the palace he just wanted to see at least once the face of his child, the symbol of his love with his wife. So he went into the chamber of his wife. She was asleep, and the child was covered, under a blanket. He wanted to remove the blanket and to see the face of the child, because perhaps he would never come back again.

He was going on an unknown pilgrimage. He was risking everything, his kingdom, his wife, his child, himself, in search of enlightenment--something he has only heard of as a possibility, which has happened before to a few people who have looked for it.

He was as full of doubts as any one of you, but the moment of decision had come. He was determined to leave. But the human mind, human nature...

He just wanted to see--he had not even seen the face of his own child. But he was afraid that if he removes the blanket, if Yashodhara, his wife, wakes up she will ask, "What are you doing in the middle of the night in my room?--and you seem to be ready to go somewhere." He was just about to leave, and he had said to his charioteer, "Just wait a minute. Let me see the child's face. I may never come back again."

But he could not look because of the fear that if Yashodhara wakes up, starts crying, weeping, "Where are you going? What are you doing? What is this renunciation? What is this enlightenment?" One never knows about a woman--she may wake up the whole palace! His father will come, and the whole thing will be spoiled. So he simply escaped...

After twelve years, when he was enlightened, the first thing he did was to come back to his palace to apologize to his father, to his wife, to his son who must be now twelve years of age. He was aware that they would be angry.

The father was very angry--he was the first one to meet him, and for half an hour he continued abusing Buddha. But then suddenly he became aware that he was saying so many things and his son was just standing there like a marble statue, as if nothing was affecting him.

The father looked at him, and Gautam Buddha said, "That's what I wanted. Please dry your tears. Look at me: I am not the same boy who left the palace. Your son died long ago.

I look similar to your son, but my whole consciousness is different. You just look." The father said, "I am seeing it. For half an hour I have been abusing you, and that is enough proof that you have changed. Otherwise I know how temperamental you were: you could not stand so silently.

What has happened to you?" Buddha said, "I will tell you. Just let me first see my wife and my child. They must be waiting--they must have heard that I have come." And the first thing his wife said to him was, "I can see that you are transformed. These twelve years were a great suffering, but not because you had gone; I suffered because you did not tell me. If you had simply told me that you were going to seek the truth, do you think I would have prevented you?

You have insulted me very badly. This is the wound that I have been carrying for twelve years. I also belong to the warrior caste--do you think I am that weak that I would have cried and screamed and stopped you?

All these twelve years my only suffering was that you did not trust me. I would have allowed you, I would have given you a send-off, I would have come up to the chariot. First I want to ask the only question that has been in my mind for all these twelve years, which is that whatever you have attained... and it certainly seems you have attained something.

You are no longer the same person who left this palace; you radiate a different light, your presence is totally new and fresh, your eyes are as pure and clear as a cloudless sky. You have become so beautiful... you were always beautiful, but this beauty seems to be not of this world. Some grace from the beyond has descended on you.

My question is that whatever you have attained, was it not possible to attain it here in this palace? Can the palace prevent the truth? It is a tremendously intelligent question, and Gautam Buddha had to agree: "I could have attained it here but I had no idea at that moment. Now I can say that I could have attained it here in this palace; there was no need to go to the mountains, there was no need to go anywhere. I had to go inside, and that could have happened anywhere.

This palace was as good as any other place, but now I can say that. At that moment I had no idea. "So you have to forgive me, because it is not that I did not trust you or your courage.

In fact, I was doubtful of myself: if I had seen you wake up and if I had seen the child, I may have started wondering, 'What am I doing, leaving my beautiful wife, whose total love, whose total devotion is for me. And leaving my one-day-old child... if I am to leave him then why did I give birth to him? I am escaping from my responsibilities.'

"If my old father had awakened, it would have become impossible for me. It was not that I did not trust you; it was really that I did not trust myself. I knew that there was a wavering; I was not total in renouncing. A part of me was saying, 'What are you doing?'--and a part of me was saying, 'This is the time to do it. If you don't do it now it will become more and more difficult.

Your father is preparing to crown you. Once you are crowned as king, it will be more difficult.'" Yashodhara said to him, "This is the only question that I wanted to ask, and I am immensely happy that you have been absolutely truthful in saying that it can be attained here, it can be attained anywhere.

Now your son, who is just standing there, a little boy of twelve years, has been continually asking about you, and I have been telling him, 'Just wait. He will come back; he cannot be so cruel, he cannot be so unkind, he cannot be so inhuman. One day he will come. Perhaps whatever he has gone to realize is taking time; once he has realized it, the first thing he will do is to come back.'

"So your son is here, and I want you to tell me what heritage you are leaving for your son? What have you got to give him? You have given him life--now what else?"

Buddha had nothing except his begging bowl, so he called his son, whose name was Rahul. He called Rahul close to him and gave him the begging bowl. He said, "I don't have anything. This is my only possession; from now onwards I will have to use my hands as a begging bowl to take my food, to beg my food. By giving you this begging bowl I am initiating you into sannyas.

That is the only treasure that I have found, and I would like you to find it too." He said to Yashodhara, "You have to be ready to become a part of my commune of sannyasins," and he initiated his wife.

The old man had come and was watching the whole scene. He said to Gautam Buddha, "Then why are you leaving me out? Don't you want to share what you have found with your old father? My death is very close... initiate me also."

Buddha said, "I had come, in fact, just to take you all with me, because what I have found is a far greater kingdom--a kingdom that is going to last forever, which cannot be conquered. I had come here so that you could feel my presence, so that you could feel my realization, and I could persuade you to become my fellow travelers."

Copyright � 2009 Osho International Foundation